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Entry 11 Friday, February 16, 2018
Hi, hi, Diary. It is me; I had to come back because I remembered that I forgot something. My ADHD kicks my ass like that sometimes. Oh, quit. You will get used to it, I did. I have mentioned mental bondage a couple of times to you but never did explain it.
The sensation it gives is difficult, at best, to describe. However, I want you to imagine this: You are getting ready to have sex (it does not have to be limited to sex), your dominant is standing above you. The dominant tells you to place your arms over your head and not move them. Then you are told to be perfectly still and not move a muscle.
You feel their mouth and fingertips on you, your body convulses a tiny bit with pleasure, suddenly the mouth and fingers are gone and you feel the thwacking sting of a paddle. You move again because it hurt, and again you get punished with that hard, stinging smack. Your brain begins to scream at you to lie still, it tries to freeze every muscle in your body because it knows that if you can stay still the pleasure will come back and the pain will end.
The entire situation is turning you on beyond measure; you have never experienced anything like it. Every fiber of your being wants to reach out and clutch the person, feel their flesh beneath your fingers. Finally, you give in to your brain and forcibly and intentionally stop all movement. You ignore the brief, sharp stings. You lay perfectly still in the position you were told. The pleasure sensations return as a reward.
You need to reach down and put your hands on your dominant. The desire to touch them is so intense that you begin to beg. Your arms are still above your head, waiting to be released.